Friday, July 18, 2008

The super secret good guy bio

Biographies of the brave, the beautiful and, well the blatantly unbelievable of Secret Agent Clank on PSP.

Secret Agent Clank

Created by a computer hiccup in one of Chairman Drek's giant robo-factories, Clank teamed up with Ratchet to save the galaxy from Drek's evil, planet-destroying machinations.

After saving the galaxy and becoming famous, he landed a starring role in his own television series - Secret Agent Clank. However, few people know the truth behind the series: that his starring role as a Secret Agent is actually a cover for his true identity... as a real live Secret Agent working for a noble organisation known as The Agency, which, if you think about it, makes him a Secret Double Agent.

Ratchet

Being the hero of the galaxy isn't always all its cracked up to be. One day you might be given the key to the city, at the head of a parade and surrounded by cheering crowds.

The next you could be framed for the theft of the single most expensive gem in the galaxy, convicted with without a trial, and put into Ultra-High Galactic Security lockdown in a prison at the edge of space along with almost every villain you locked away in your career as a hero.

Still, Ratchet retains in prison the qualities that made him a hero in the first place - incredible speed and agility, a can-do attitude, and the technical know-how it takes to turn any available weapon into a hurricane of destruction.

Ms. Bot

The Agency's premiere field-support Operator, Ms. Cute Anastasia Bot helps countless Agency agents through life-or-death situations on a daily basis.

She boasts a Ph.D in Secret Agent Motivational, Behavioural, and Psychological Support With a Smile, a degree she pioneered. Offering equipment hot drops, on-demand intel, and recon, Ms. Bot is one of the most under appreciated - and woefully single - covert operators in The Agency's service.

Gadgebots Mk.II

Model Improvements:

Powerplant: 1.2 Gw -> 2.55 GwCarbon Metafiber joints in Jaw Mechanics give increased torque: 280 N·m -> 380 N·mFull 360-degree articulation on legs give increased ground speed: 2m/s -> 5m/sMagnetosphere Columnar Alignment Upgrade allows new construct: Gadgebot LadderReversing powerplant polarity can excite electron communication arcs between nearby Gadgebots, providing exterior power management. WARNING: Untested; this feature may cause chain reactions and destroy galaxy.

Qwark

The greatest hero anyone in the galaxy has ever seen, is currently seeing, or ever will see, Captain Qwark has single-handedly saved all life in galaxy exactly two-hundred and forty six times - or so he claims. What Qwark lacks in book smarts, street smarts, wit, and personal hygiene is more than made up by his heroic poses and willingness to punch problems until they go away.

Now with the aid of a mysterious publisher and some writer-bot whose name he can't be bothered to remember, Qwark has finally set about putting his greatest triumphs on paper, no matter what rationality, his spell checker, or internal consistency, have to say on the matter.

Barney

This mild-mannered ETD-3 writer-bot has somehow landed the ghost-writing job of the century in helping Captain Qwark write his autobiography. Supposedly he has written biographies for many of the galaxy's greatest luminaries, but it's tough to make a reputation from books when someone else's name is on the jacket. Key features of the ETD-3 include excessive cowering and fearful servility.

Most biographers would have already cracked under the strain of trying to turn Qwark's tall tales into a cohesive document, but Barney dutifully continues to chronicle each episode and send off drafts to his mysterious editor...




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